Feb 27 2016

Birthday Gift!

Bwoyz sometimes find weird ways of wishing you “Happy Birthday”! But this one really takes the cake!

I am NOT really complaining! 😉 But I am confused! yeh kya ho raha hain?

It was a lazy winter morning in Delhi back in 2014 when Dev** first called. He needed some help planning a trip with the wife and had contrived to get my number through a common friend. He was one of those people who you know by virtue of being in the same circle. I had seen his emails on some FB groups/yahoogroups we were both subscribed to, but I didn’t really know him personally.  He claims to have met me when our common interest group was hanging out at a popular watering hole in Bangalore years back – of which I have no recollection whatsoever!

Pure speculation – but here is what I think happened before Dev called me that winter morning. He must have been hanging out with the group when someone might have let loose a bit of gossip on my sexual orientation. This sort of shit happens all the time, but it set off a chain of thought in our mans mind. 3 days later, I get a friend request on Facebook which I decline, since on principle, I generally don’t add people I have never met. He then calls up one of the guys on our Mutual Friends list (thanks for that Zuckerberg bhai!) and gets my number from him.

So while I was sipping my Filter coffee and watching CNN, Dev calls and after a cursory hello proceeds to go down memory lane! “What! You dont remember me? What macha! Remember we met at Peco’s? Remember how X got drunk and started singing off-key? yada-yada…!” Basically the sort of thing that happens EVERYTIME we friends hang out!  Our man sounded offended when I said I don’t remember! It took Dev 15 long minutes to finally get to the frikkin point!

So Dev was quitting his job and had some time on his hands before his next assignment and wanted to take his wife out for a trip that would guarantee a tiger sighting! So over the next few days, I gave him some options, helped him finalize his itinerary and even booked safari’s for him at a popular Tiger Reserve in Central India! He sent another friend request on FB which I declined again – because you know – principle.

2 months later, I got a call from him again. He was in Gurgaon for a week on some official work – could I meet him for beer? Why wouldn’t I? I am always up for free beer! So on a Wednesday evening, I met him at a popular micro-brewery in Gurgaon after work. Now I don’t claim to have an eidetic memory, but I certainly had never seen this dude before! First impression? Good looking, gym fit and definitely do-able! 😉 A little too smug and arrogant, but then again – who isn’t? We had a lovely first “date” – talked about road-trips, club politics and of course his recent trip to the forest with the wife! No tiger sightings – but he explained with excruciating detail that he had kept himself suitably entertained with other activities! I mentioned I would be going for bird-photography on Sunday morning followed by some flying with my home-built aeromodels – something I do once a month. Since his flight back to Bangalore was on Monday, he was welcome to join.

The next day was also a working day – but Dev called around 4pm asking if we could catch up for beer again. And so we did, at the same pub as the day before. It was on this occasion that I “officially” came out to him! It took 15 minutes for the light-flirting to begin. And by the time the 3rd pitcher had been consumed, it had progressed to more heavy-duty flirting. Since he could barely walk, I offered to drop him to his hotel which was not too far off before heading home. It was on the short cab ride to his hotel that he first attempted to get physical and I had to physically restrain him! It was an uncomfortable cab drive home for me with the taxi driver giving me strange looks.

I picked him up on Sunday morning and we headed to Sultanpur near Gurgaon for some bird-photography followed by a session of aero-modeling where I tried to teach him to fly interspersed with a bit of light-flirting. It was a wonderful morning indeed and I had a great time! I invited him to come over to my place for drinks and head to the airport direct from there to catch his flight which he declined. The answer surprised me. So this was not serious? Maybe I misread the signals!

But 3 days later, at around 1030 pm, I receive what was to be the first of many flirty texts on whatsapp. I am flummoxed, but I play along for some time. Now going back i see a pattern in these messages. Almost always on Fri/Sat and always after 10pm! And every time getting more, well, sexual. After some time of playing along, i lose interest and stop responding to his messages.

Months later, I am spending my birthday at a famous tiger reserve with a close friend and his wife, something I do every year for past 15 years. Early that morning, I am sitting having chai with said wife of friend when Dev suddenly texts wishing me a happy birthday. Attached with the birthday greeting are 2 selfie-pics of himself. Will spare you the description, but posting the less graphic of the 2 images here.

Jeans bulge

Another Long radio silence follows with spurts of activity in between, again purely electronic! 2 days ago I receive a rather graphic video again starring himself!  I am surprised at this kind of double game. Is he interested or not? I had already made it amply clear that I was not averse to taking this forward on a purely NSA basis. But all opportunities to actually operate on such interest had been avoided! Seriously – What was the game here? I can understand the casual flirting and all that. But sending naughty pictures of yourself to someone is something else altogether!

Why cant bwoyz just make up their minds? Do they want it or not? If they cant muster the courage to take it forward when it comes down to it why continue to do this with a LGBT friend?


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