Jun 04 2017

Responding to Readers

Haven’t been able to respond to readers of my blog who have sent in emails as often as I would have liked to! Heck! I haven’t even been able to blog as often as I hoped to! A rare day-off means I have no more excuses left! So here goes…!

I first started this blog on blogspot years back more as a personal diary than anything else. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my problems, and the net seemed like a viable Soapbox. It was like therapy. Frankly, I had no idea there would be so many people reading and emailing! Some of the emails, I have already responded to. Some of them, I sent to the trash bin. Some I will respond on today’s post.

  1. “SONU”, Barrackpore : You are lucky you have had the “awakening” this early in life. Trust me, It’s just easier to transition when you are 17/18 than to do that when you are 40. You have your whole youth to enjoy with your true identity. The biggest regret I have in life at this point, is why this awakening came so late! Sure there are challenges. The financial question in particular. Transitioning and living a post-transition life can be expensive & complicated, more so in India. On the face of it, your Thailand idea seems totally workable. Be very aware of the challenges & risks though.
  2. “VSDOC” : I am not sure if you are just trolling for jollies or were serious. But to answer one of your questions: I don’t know how gay men react when they get blown: I don’t have much experience with gays. 😛
  3. “VIKKY”, Saket : Do I have a type? Well, Punjabi’s for sure. And Mozzie bwoyz! BTW, Thanks for that pic! Made my day sweetie! 😛
  4. “JATIN”, Delhi : Well I am not a “Size Queen” but yes, Size does matter. As long as its above 6″, it’s fine. Is bigger better? Well depends on what I am in the mood to do with it! Or rather, where I want it that night! 😛 Bigger ones are more fun for some things, but obviously more painful for other activities! 😉
  5. “SWETA”, Bangalore :  I am not sure Yoga will really help me get rid of my “abnormal” thoughts regarding gender. Believe me, I have tried going down that path. But yes, Yoga and the breathing exercises you talked about will be helpful getting my health back on track. Thanks for the details.
  6. “VIJAY” : Do straight men who try to get women into bed be said to “have an agenda”? When you meet a woman you think is attractive, do you stop to ask her if she is straight, gay, bi/tri or whatever before hitting on her? Then why should it be different for gay men? If I find someone attractive, I will let him know that I am interested in him. However there is a difference between Flirting on one hand and Pawing or Stalking someone. Gay or straight THAT is just wrong. You seem to imply that is ok for you to do with a woman, but its not ok when a gay man tries that exact same thing on you?
  7. “JEEVAN”, Mumbai : Very inspirational story. And amazing pictures! Your wife is a very lucky woman! We hope to find someone post-transitioning just like she did! Someday, I hope to visit your guesthouse. Backpacking in that part of the world has been on my wishlist for long!
  8. “ADARSH” : Have never really identified with the “pride” culture despite having identified as gay. Don’t see the point. However I am willing to be educated on it.
  9. “SONU”, “KK” and others : I don’t see humongous boobies as the center of identity. Frankly, anything beyond a B-cup would just be inconvenient! That has been the most stupefying part of my research into transitioning: there seems to be an obsession with plastic surgery. Bigger boobs, hip enhancement, facial feminizing and so on. Too much work! For surgery, I think I am going to restrict myself to just the big one and let the HRT take care of the rest. As for dressing up, I don’t think I will change my dressing style either. I might look like a dorky lesbian, but hey I am ok with that. Maybe just some sexy lingerie for date nights. But that’s it!
  10. “GP”, “AM” & others : Saved the most common question for last! Well, I take great pride in having an exceptionally accurate gaydar. But  I can’t say for sure if you are gay or not based off an email. But what I can say, is that you cant take this call based on a sexual encounter that, as you put it yourself, you enjoyed. Sexual Activity and Preference are not the same! Being straight means you prefer women, being gay means you prefer men – PREFER being the key word. I know thats the way we are raised in society, but we really need to stop thinking in binaries.

Just checked the stats earlier – average of 3K hits a day, over 1L each month and over 1000 emails to respond to! Heartened by the response.

Was hoping if readers would be encouraged to post comments against the posts. That would really help get a discussion going!


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